everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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