I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
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