She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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