You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
i black out too much to be "responsible"
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize