But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Randomize
