I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Did I show you my penis last night?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
