Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Randomize
