Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
