Pappa wants mamma naked
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
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