Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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