nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
