she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
