i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
