For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
