need another drink. this is the easiest way
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
