sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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