didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
