bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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