Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
