Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
