Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
