My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
