Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
