PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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