I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
