What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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