i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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