Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I see more hoeing in ur future
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize