Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
