i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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