if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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