the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
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