I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
