I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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