She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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