I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
