Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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