Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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