For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize