its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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