Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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