these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
