Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
