no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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