Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
