Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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