the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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