You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
She swung at the pinata with crutches
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
