Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
