at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
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