god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I want her autograph on my taint
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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