I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
i will never coherently bang her
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
