Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
