Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
