You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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