what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
