yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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