so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
