Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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