was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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