I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize