I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Enjoy the penises
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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