I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
