Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
