well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
